“Isn’t Amnesty, like, when you don’t have sex and stuff?”

When a high school graduate first sets foot in a university the experience of being away from their family often results in a much anticipated liberation family constraints and restricting school rules. Rhodes University is a prime example of this, as most of the students applying to the University are applicants wanting to study away from home. The idea of being free from one’s family and having to take more responsibility in life can be quite challenging for anyone, let alone a young, naïve first year. There is a sudden exposure to legal drinking without parental consent as well as having to manage some form of budget. This, if we have to be honest, is not easy to do, seeing as most of us use our parent’s pharmacy account for everything but medication.

Freedom and the usual high school life orientation classes about peer pressure, drugs and alcohol are accompanied by yet another taboo: unprotected sex. Despite having sex talk after sex talk, first years at Rhodes are generally blatantly naïve when it comes to protected sex. According to sites such as www.netdoctor.co.uk/sex_relationships/facts/safesex.htm. After speaking to several of my friends at Rhodes, I am aware that this is a generalisation, but that being said, there are those who really should think about enrolling for condom-application classes at SHARC. Perhaps a possible solution to this problem lies in a single word: abstinence – or as my sleep-deprived friend once said at 05:00 after pulling an all-nighter; “Isn’t Amnesty, like, when you don’t have sex and stuff?” I know the guy was tired, but it’s remarks like that make you think that maybe Rhodes students need a refresher course (and this guy is a 3rd year, believe it or not).

What annoys me the most that people are choosing to remain blissfully ignorant about the fact that HIV/Aids has no face. There are organisations on campus (like SHARC) that make a point of covering issues such as unprotected sex and the dangers that follow. The organisation even goes the extra mile to teach first years how to put a condom on a wooden phallus. For crying out loud guys, the concept is not that hard. Yes I know you or your partner is on the Pill, but last time I checked, HIV/Aids is not immune to a little white pill. The Rhodes calendar even caters for national Aids week – remember that long red carpet outside the library? That was not there for decoration. And there are not enough condoms missing from the free condom box in the res bathrooms to even cover ten percent of the girls in my res. So unless you are relying on your boyfriend’s condom box girls, you might want to pop past.

If you’re too shy to ask for a condom demo, check out sites such as www.instructables.com/id/How-to-Put-on-a-Condom/, where you can learn the ropes from the privacy of your own room. What scares me the most is; if it’s not desperate pregnant girls actually queuing for those dodgy abortion signs stuck up around town, then it’s the complete lack of HIV positive people NOT queuing up at the San for an HIV test.

Megan Kate Murison: More Than Just A Rhodent

James Dean once said, “Dream as if you’ll live forever; and live as if you’ll die tomorrow”. I not only find this quote one great significance to life itself, but also to one very special person who has touched my life. Megan Kate Murison may appear the average first year at Rhodes University; smart, friendly and very enthusiastic about her social life. But there’s something about this 19-year-old young woman that makes you want to look at her twice. Is the infectious smile? The stunning girl-next-door looks? Or the open-hearted friendliness that makes you like her instantly?

Born and raised in the metropolis of Johannesburg, Megan fits the description of a big-town, typical Sandton girl; pretty, vibrant, outgoing and a private-school education. Underneath the vivacious bravado, however, lies something deeper than her natural beauty. Like most young women, Megan too has suffered her own fair share of emotional problems. The difference with this young woman is her ability to go on with her life, not expecting the world to stop and wait while she picks up the pieces.

Before coming to Rhodes University, Megan went to a private, co-ed school in the suburbs of Johannesburg, where she matriculated with the same peers she started her grade one schooling in 1996. The limiting factor of being with the same people for 12 years is the risk of having a difficulty with making friends in later life. Megan has also always shared a very close bond with her family, especially with her mother, Pam. The natural pangs of homesickness were therefore inevitable when moving so far away from home, but Megan’s mentality is one of “I really don’t mind where I am, it just matters who I’m with”. True to her word, it did not take Megan long to settle down in the Rhodes way of life, and within days she had herself a group of fast, strong friends.

Despite having every reason to have a thread of vanity and self-indulgence, Megan is anything but selfish. When asked as to what makes her day, she responds by saying that her day is brightened when one of her friends is having a good day. “That smile that reaches their eyes – it just makes my day,” she says with a spark in her laughing blue eyes. When speaking about Megan to her peers, her boyfriend, second year BsC student Robert Jones, says “She is a beautiful, caring, loving girl who loves animals, her friends and her man. She enjoys having a good time as well as valuing her time alone”. A truer word has never been spoken about this bubbly would-be hippie.

Most of the time it takes years to get under someone’s skin and discover the person beneath the front they present to the outside world. With Megan Murison, however, you don’t need time to see the beautiful person inside. I have had the privilege of knowing Megan for eight years and I have seen the things she is capable of as a person. Not only do I admire her, but I’m also inspired by her to be a better person. There is an old saying that says that everyone needs that one special person who instils some intangible value to your life; someone who not only brings out the best in you, but manages to be there for you when life deals you an unfair hand. I am proud to say that Megan Kate Murison is that person for many, but especially for me.

Letter to my younger self...

Dearest Little Biscuit,

Remember when you were six and you told Mommy and Daddy that you wanted to be a ballerina when you grew up? What about the time when you were eleven and you were certain you wanted to be a pilot? And when you were fourteen, didn’t you want to be a paediatrician? Well, you made the right choice when you were seventeen saying that you wanted to study Journalism, and again when you were eighteen and decided that Rhodes was the place to do it.

What you failed to decide on once you’d packed your trunk was whether or not you were going to survive. Sure, you knew you were going to be a part of every society possible and go to every single party that took place while still maintaining your “smart girl” marks but you didn’t bet on the fact that your relationship with Mommy and Daddy (who are now collectively known as “the ballies”) would hide in the background only to re-emerge when you needed cash or a place to stay in the vacation. Your relationship with big brother will turn to a strained SMS once a week to find out how his weekend without you was or to try and explain that you’re still here for him now that his angel is gone – he actually just crashes his BMW into a pole. Your puppy, Levi, won’t be there anymore when you go home in March 2008 and when you arrive back in June the new puppy, Khola, will be able to jump right onto the kitchen counter already (she’s a Great Dane by the way).

All you need to remember is that even though times may get tough and lonely, your family is always there for you. Your parents will still love you even though you fail your first French test. Your brother will still love you even though you drank so much cane and cream soda that you threw up all over your boyfriend. Candice will still be there to shop with you for clothes once you’ve gained a few kilos – just blame it on res food. While life goes on at varsity as well as at home, you’re still a part of it and missed dearly.

With love, Little Biscuit,
Big Biscuit

Back to the past...

Hi there little one,

I know this comes as somewhat of an arbitrary and bizarre occurrence – it’s not everyday that you receive a letter from your older-self. The idea may seem a bit pointless, given that I am but a few years older than you are now. But you are about to embark on a part of your life that drastically changes both you, and your outlook on life. A couple of months on your own, adapting to university life is enough to change anyone. And trust me when I say it will change you – I’ve lived that part of your life. There will be a lot of tears. There will be heartache and anguish. Your heart will be broken. More than once. You will do stupid things that you never imagined yourself doing – things that you will not be proud of. As much as these unwanted events are unpleasant to think about, they will change you as a person, for the better. You will learn from them. The words I have given you so far are far from encouraging. They do not give you an unsullied vision of what your life is going to be like after leaving home. I am being blunt with you. There will be hard and rough times. But without the hard times, how can you appreciate the good times? Because there will be smiles. There will be laughter. There will be a fabulous group of best friends who will support you in everything you do. There will be those woeful days of PMS and hangovers that only a good Hilary Duff movie and lots of chocolate will cure. These experiences are not only necessary in the development of your new life, but also in defining the new you. This letter is not meant to aid you in anyway, but purely give you an honest view of what to expect in your personal life. University life is something you are meant to experience alone, and as pathetic as this sounds, finding who you are as a person. I guess that’s all I have to say, you goofy child you.

All the best,

Chanel

xxx

PS. The dark-haired guy from De Beers called Dave? Two thumbs up… :)

Letter to my younger self...

Hello Meg,

I chose to write to you because I know, that at this moment, you are frantically trying to cram all those notes in your head for finals and practice equations like mad for Maths. I know that you see next year at Rhodes as an escape from all of this and that you hold onto it as a reward for your hard work. I would however, like to let you in on a little secret that, had I known, would have made my life so much easier: very few relationships at university are made to last forever.

Yes, I know you’ve been with him for a while and yes, I know he’s spoon fed you words about how you are going to start a life together at Rhodes, but it is a lot harder than you think. Rhodes is a small place and you’ll see him everyday (you’re probably thinking “that’s great!”) but this puts such a strain on a relationship. I want you to know that you don’t have to be so serious at such a young age. The more serious you are, the harder you’ll be crushed when it ends.

First year is difficult- managing much more work than Matric, trying to survive on limited money and trying to maintain an intense relationship is a lot harder than people think. I want you to enjoy university and not feel as though you have to devote your years to him. Boys will fade, so build a stronger relationship with your girlfriends because, when he breaks your heart, they’ll be the ones making you coffee in your room and consoling you. You owe it to them to be the best friend you can be.

Good luck with exams and have a great time at Rhodes next year. I know you will because I have!

Yours always,
Meg